The Saga of Warrior Reborn

I am a beast.

I am a force of nature.

I am the dry crack of thunder before the coming storm.

I am what others fear in the back of their minds; a hold over from a time when violence was a way of life and death a constant reminder of what we are all really thinking of.

I am angry, and not the safe, washed down version you see spoiling about on TV. I feel the fire in my gut and the red in my eyes. It isn't just emotion; for me it's a way of life.

I am ready, and more importantly, I am worthy of the challenges I face, because I know that they will not       break me, only grow my legend, my saga. I yearn for a time when a man claims immortality not from his iniquities being broadcast all of humanity, but when his deeds were whispered in hushed and reverent tones from those who had witnessed those moments of legend.


     In the past two weeks, I have embarked upon a journey to improve my physical being. My thirtieth birthday happens to coincide with Florida's running of Tough Mudder. This twelve mile obstacle course is designed to test your resolve and your physical stamina, and my wonderful friends thought it would be a good way to celebrate the passing of my twenties. I reluctantly agreed, and began a regimen of both dieting and exercise that has left me in a place that I have never been before.

    Satisfied.

    It isn't a word I throw around very often. I am a firm believer that satisfaction leads to complacency, but this time it wasn't the case. This contentment, this satisfaction, stemmed from accomplishment. I have lost twelve pounds in two weeks. For the first time in ages, I feel light, quick, agile even. Waking up isn't a chore, it's another chance to prove to myself that I am the master of my life. I see so many people I know struggling to be happy, to find a better job or make more money, and for the first time, I get that this kind of joy doesn't come from succeeding in the rat race of life. It comes from getting up, making a decision to do the right thing, eat the right thing, and do it because it makes you a better person.

    I'm not doing this for anyone but myself. There isn't a anyone going to care if I take care of myself in the end. Not really. How many time have we heard ourselves saying to someone we know, "Man, I wish so-in-so would just take of themselves. They really let go of themselves." I don't want anyone to ever say that about me. There is no excuse for it. In the end, I'm answerable to only two things; myself and God. And considering He made me in His image, I don't think he would appreciate me defacing the wondrous form He created for me.

    It feels good to get that off of my chest.

    Tangent warning, looks like I'll finally get to play some D&D soon. My girlfriend has been clambering to play, and her friends want to join in, so I feel obliged to to teach them how to play.

    And Warmachine has been going fantastically. I'll be running my first league in the coming month.

SCC

A Return to Form

     I really suck at maintaining a blog.

     I keep blaming outside influences; convergences of celestial and terrestrial events that conspire to prevent me from writing. Like Cthulhu or The King in Yellow is actively attempting to stop me from putting words into the vastness of the internet. If only that were true. I'll be honest, I mostly just suffer from malcontentment. I'm never quite happy with how this ever turns out; in fact, I rarely post on Facebook anymore for much the same reason. It just comes across, to me, as idiotic rambling.

     Yet here I am again, letting loose the thoughts in my head in a public manner. Anything you read past this point is now your fault entirely, and you have been warned.

     Tabletop RPG's have fallen to the wayside for me currently. This isn't due to a lack of interest, but more of a growing interest in another game. For a long time, I've been eyeing Warmachine and Hordes; mainly to supplant my waning interest in Warhammer 40,000. I love the social aspects of tabletop wargaming. It is one the first activities I have found that I don't need to win to have fun. Learning Hordes has been a blast, and the group of people that I have found here in Gainesville have been wonderful so far.

     What started out as a Christmas present from a friend has blossomed into a full 35 point Legion of Everblight army. I was kinda tired of always playing the "good guys" in games, and taking a cue from both my girlfriends love of all things creepy, and my good friend's Travis' love of all things monstrous, I settled on Hordes. For once there are no giant robots in my army, no power armored super soldiers, no crazy missile launchers of machine guns. Just good old fashioned dragon muscle and elven magic.

    I'm loving it. Privateer Press has built an amazing world for their games. Between this game and my hopeful adoption of the tabletop RPG "Iron Kingdoms," I can't get enough of this stuff. Anyway, back to the good stuff.

Ravagore WIP

The whole collection

    These are my current projects, And I'm happy to say that I'm well on the way to completing them. This is the first time I've ever had a whole collection of something, and I'm particularly proud of it. 

Other Points of View

    In recent weeks, I have been doing a lot of looking into tropes and the misuse of them by the larger creative community. One of the things I have always felt I have been good at in writing is finding logical explanations for things beyond the reason of "just because."  I love characters with realistic motivations and reactions to situations. Hell, anyone that has ever discussed storytelling with me at any length know that my favorite stories are those in which the protagonist is a normal person thrust into extraordinary circumstances. It's fascinating for me to imagine myself in the character's place, debating what they did versus what I would do.

    That said, I found that on occasion I have used negative stereotypes to portray women and minorities in an unflattering light. I think this this stems from a few things, some of which were beyond my control until very recently.

    The first of these is, unfortunately for me in this regard, I am a male, white American. Just by nature, I gravitate towards characters that resemble me, and Lord knows the mass media caters to this. It isn't that I care less for characters outside this demographic, it's just when I write, I fall back on what I know. How many other people out the have heard the axiom, "Write what you know"? Even if you aren't an author, I'm sure this kind of advice makes quite of bit of sense, and starting out it is a very helpful tool. But part of getting better is learning when you don't need the training wheels anymore.

    As a fan of fantasy and science fiction, the overwhelming majority of material I encounter is both male and Caucasian centric. Take a moment to think of the main characters of all of the shows in this genre. I did. I was surprised when I couldn't think of a single person of color and only a handful of women. All this had been doing had been reinforcing my natural proclivities of using white men as heroes.

    The last one was something I had some awareness, but didn't realize that I knew so little about. I'm talking about the misogynist treatment of women in tropes. Don't get me wrong, as a man, I love a damsel in distress. Of course it's empowering to save the girl. And it has its place in fiction. Just not always in mine,

    So I'm just going to keep being me, keep trying to think outside the box, and keep an open mind. This was more of a random musing post, and less of a topic thing.

Classic Horror

     As I slowly pull together a new gaming group (or resurrect an old one, in a way), the ideas for the new campaign have started to drift in. I like to try new things when it comes to storytelling, and this seemed like another good opportunity to do so.
    
    I've been playing a lot of The Secret World lately, and I've really been enjoying the locales and setting as a whole. I love the feeling of pervasive dread it inspires. It's as if, even though you are clearly the hero, it doesn't care that you might lose. The forces arrayed against you leave little doubt that you are a small fish in a very large and disturbing ocean. As I entered the Transylvania zone, I was reminded of the old Ravenloft campaign setting from AD&D. In a time when vampires sparkle and werewolves are just tens with anger problems, it was nice to be reminded just how terrifying these beasts were in their original incarnations.

     This got me thinking for other sources of inspiration along these fronts. I knew I was hooked on the concept of Gothic horror; but where did I go from there? First thing first, I dug up my copy of Heroes of Horror, a 3.5 sourcebook for exactly these things. It's a wonderful tool for setting a tone and coming up with ways to challenge your players while maintaining suspense. I've actually used it in my regular campaigns it's so chock full of player killin' goodness.

    I'm not sure how I'm going to run it mechanically speaking. Pathfinder/3.5 has an absolute wealth of options and material specifically designed for this, but it is an pain to run. I'm toying around with the idea of 4E, but that doesn't sit right either. It's too combat oriented for a good suspense, intrigue-driven story. My prior gaming group tried several times in this regard, and it never really seemed to stick. So where does that leave me?

    Dunno. I think I'm gonna have to bite the bullet and run it in 3.5.

    Sigh. I hate the encounter system so much. Adjusting monsters for different encounters can be tricky, particularly with the rules for combat being moderately complicated. That said though, the level of customization is staggering for characters, and I think that's the reason players keep coming back to it as a system. Even more so than any other edition of Dungeons & Dragons, 3.5 is just where so many hearts reside.

    I just hate making those encounters. Maybe Pathfinder has a more streamlined way of doing things. We'll see.

Asian Fusion

     Okay, so I had a little bit of a tornado of hectic scrambling last week, and wasn't able to post because of it. Now I'm back on the wagon and here to talk about a couple of different games I've been looking to play.

    The first is Big Eyes Small Mouth, a game I was cajoled/conscripted to play as a part of the podcast that I record with. The Wicked Anime crew consists of most of my former gaming group, and during one of our post recording talks, the idea of running a BESM campaign came up. Everyone thought this was a wonderful idea, as we could each pick a genre we really loved for our respective characters. Or have a genre foisted upon you like plague. In an effort to avoid having to play the magical girl (because for some reason, as the tokusatsu and sentai fan, they wouldn't let me be a Power Ranger or Kamen Rider. Which was just cruel.), I volunteered to DM the shenanigans.

    We held a poll on the what time of campaign it should be, and the fans chose the ragtag crew team-up. What a wonderful windfall.This has let to some really neat avenues of thought because this isn't really a defined genre in terms of setting. I can run the whole of time and space with this, as long as the characters are using there disparate abilities and natures in overcoming the obstacles. So, look forward to ninjas, spaceships, giant robots, magical girls and just a touch of high school drama. Should be fun.

    Moving on to my personal gaming, The Secret World hasn't slowed down in its ability to keep me interested. My cabal consists of some pretty cool guys, and I've even run my first dungeon. DPS is a new experience, but I totally get why people chase those big critical hit numbers now. I'm slowly branching into a more support/dps playstyle, and I might even begin to pick up some tanking abilities, just to round things out.

   On the tabletop front, I've got the backbone of a Pathfinder campaign that seems like it might be fun. I think I might take cue from the old 3.5 setting Ravenloft and run some traditional gothic horror for my group. Vampires ruling cities hidden in the mist, werewolves terrorizing villagers, ghosts keening balefully in the night. It's different from my normal high adventure style and kind of refreshing.

Without a Doubt

    Once again, sleeplessness has left me here, writing this blog. It's not such a bad thing. I have a weird relationship with the haze that sets in after not sleeping for an unhealthy period of time. It loosens my mind, letting me set aside those internal prejudices that keep me from enjoying writing all the time. I don't feel so self conscious at one in the morning. I'm weird.

    I'm finding the more I step up in life, the more I'm terrified I might succeed. I know that sounds stupid. Hell, I just said it out loud to make sure it was I meant to say. The prospect of success means that you have accomplished something, which in turn means responsibility and respect. These are things I crave desperately, and have so for years. I just don't know if I'm the man to actually bear that burden. ;It doesn't feel like courage when the thing I'm trying to overcome is myself.

    I think this might be about doubt. Doubt has been, and I really believe always be, my greatest weakness. The moment I think that I can fail, I don't even quit.

    I never even try.

    I have wasted so many opportunities in my life because of the fear of failure. It's easier to be a screw-up. No expectations, no pressure. People are proud of you for just getting by. Don't get me wrong, the person was five, six years ago is not the man I am today. But I should have never have fallen to that point. I had potential, but no vision. Everyone around me, especially my family saw, this in me, and desperately tried to get me to realize it myself before it was too late.

   I pray that I prove them right.

   Part of that is excepting one's inherent greatness. And I'm not talking about the arrogant bravado that normally surrounds me. It's in that moment when you've made the right call and you know you have to stick with it. Because in the end other people are depending on you. Because you know that you ARE the right person for the job. Because, at the very end of the day, you can sleep knowing that it was done right, and done for the right reasons.

    I'm not just moving on. I'm moving forward. I've made mistakes and squandered time and chance, but they HAVE taught me a lessons. I am wiser, more capable than I have ever been. Tomorrow, and every tomorrow after after that, I'm going to be a better Sean.

Rage against the Immaterium

     So, earlier today I was catching up on m daily blogs and webcomics when I was greeted with this nonsense. Basically, it's an article that outlines how Games Workshop is bullying writers and other companies in an effort to secure the term "Space Marine" as a trademarked property. I'll let you read this, then we'll discuss this.

     Legalwatch - GW Makes the News...

     Read it? Good, because here comes the rant.

     I cannot believe this blatant... bullying. There is no other term for it. This is very much a case of a larger, more powerful entity forcing its own agenda on someone that stands no chance off being able to fight back. This is ridiculousness of the highest order.

    That aside, there are two things that are even worse than this predication. First, was Amazon giving in to Games Workshop. This does nothing but set a precedent for Games Workshop to continue its vendetta of legalese harassment. In no way was Amazon required to take down the book from its online store. It did so to save its own ass. Has the threat of litigation become so powerful that even the mighty corporation won't stand behind it's community of creators and producers?

     The second part of this fiasco is to me the sadder of the two. In no way can I affect Games Workshop's decision to harass these creators. My personal boycott of their products would do no good. Even if I were to convince my few friends that are fans and that purchase their products to stop it in support of this writer would not even register in Games Workshop's ledger. So here I am ranting about it.

    And then I realized there was something I can do. Actually, there was something my very community of peers could do.

    We can take it back.

    The only thing we can really do to stop the kind of ham-handedness is to make our own stories about Space Marines. And not Games Workshop's either, but the Space Marines that have existed in the genre for over eighty years now. They may own the trademark, but they do not own the trope. I know this idea may seem silly to some, but this concept that people have the right to own whole, broad concepts is irrational and ultimately stifles creativity. The only way to win is to fight.

     And fight I will. This abuse of power has gone on too long.

A Return to Writing

     In an effort to maintain my sanity, and to express things I otherwise have a hard time saying, I'm going to attempt to continue this blog. Small steps at first, just for a week, and then on from there.

    So, I'm living in Gainesville now. Like any move, it's had it's fair share of stress. It has left me with a desire to write, which is good, since the this town is very much how I envisioned the fictional town of Temple Springs. Very wooded, small and with a hint of old Florida still on every corner. Ill Spirits has definitely been on my mind since coming to town, and this afternoon I have made some progress on the beginning of it. Not as much as I would like, but that's something I plan on working on.

    Game-wise, things have been relatively slow, since I have left my fantastic gaming group off three years behind in Orlando. I knew even as I was playing, that those I played with were some of the best people I could ever roll some dice with. It is with great resignation that I am now looking to rebuilding a new group of stalwart companions with which to tell stories and enjoy good company.

    That said, I am planning on playing some Pathfinder at the upcoming MegaCon. It's been a year since I first dipped my toes into the waters of organized RPG play, and I must say, I found it rather invigorating. The spontaneity, the cast of characters last time was a blast. I'm hoping to drag a few of my other friends into it as well.

    As far as tabletop war games are concerned, those are also on hiatus until further notice. I might build or paint some of the models I currently own, but I'm also looking for a new gaming group there, as well. Fortunately, those two groups of people frequently overlap, which should make getting back into the swing of things much easier.

    As a stopgap, I have picked up The Secret World from Funcom now that the subscription requirement has been dropped. Yes, it can be buggy; yes, it is not the most stunning game in the market right now; but it is the most in depth story-wise I have ever played, particularly in the MMO genre. I love the setting, the cross between the Harry Dresden-esque magic and hidden world, and the X-Files level of paranoia and conspiracy. The skill wheel is the most engrossing thing I have ever gotten my hands on. The level of freedom in designing your characters is refreshing. This game does not hold your hand or babysit you. I have found the challenge of figuring out a good build very reminiscent of tweaking a Magic: the Gathering deck. It's all little tweaks and experiments to figure out a build that works for you. It's less about static rotations and gear checks and more about skill and intelligent gameplay. It's an intelligent MMO for an intelligent gamer, and it much more accessible the something like EVE Online. Brilliant game. If anyone wants to get in on this, let me know. I have a few guest passes I'd be happy to share.

My character's name is BlackLionZero and I'm on the Daemon server.

Story Arcs

Right. So I failed in my maintenance of my blog there for a couple of months. My bad.

So I have that out of the way, on to newer, more pressing matters. First, Next month is NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month, and I have chosen to participate. Last month I completed 24 Hour Comic Book Day with my roommates and some others and I'm coming off that feeling a little rambunctious. I have never written a novel before, but I am relishing in the challenge. I feel this is a necessary over-reaching. 50,000 words in a month? I don't have that kind of willpower. I really don't. I'm going to get bored and try to quit at some point.

Which is why I have enlisted my friends.

They are there to cajole me, threaten me, and harass me into finishing. 2,000 words a day worth. I have the best friends, I really do.

Second, is the subject of the novel. I once attempted to write a story to deal with my emotions. That story was called Ill Spirits, and I'm going to take a second shot at it. I've never been really good at introspection; it scares the hell out of me, really. With that in mind, I'm going to attempt to turn a whole life of terrible circumstances and decision making into a readable novel. It's going to be modern fantasy, but grounded very much in my hometown (or at least a fictional version of it). The main character has a lot of my same problems. His girlfriend is an amalgamation of both previous ex-girlfriends and what I think my ideal women is. I want this whole thing to be a reflection into how I function.

Wish me luck.

On the gaming front, it's been pretty slow. Al has come out to play a couple of times the last month, but not recently. The apartment has been pretty busy gearing up for various activities (read: The three of our birthdays are in November.)

Played around with creating a Mouse Guard character at the behest of a friend. I really enjoyed the comics, and would love to actually get to play this, but something keeps hanging me up. This is a game about RPing mice, and I have a hard time wrapping my head around that. My character, Kieran, is decidedly un-mouselike. I just don't know how to be meek. In fact, it's kind of boring. I'll give it a shot, but my expectations are not very high. I like playing heroes, not prudent forest creatures.

Oh well.

RPG Basics 101- Preparation

 

     I feel that the best place to begin with playing any RPG is preparation. Getting any group of adults together and on the same page for any length of time is almost impossible. So, in the interest of everyone having fun and not  wasting what could be precious game time, it's always good to be ready to go. This is accomplished two ways. First, etiquette. A few simple guidelines can make any evening of gaming run smoothly. I'll do a numbered list, because they are fun and I just figured out how to do them. 

1. Be Early- It takes a group a little while to settle down after getting to the venue. It usually takes a group about a half an hour to get to the table after arriving, so it never hurts to be a little early. It also gives your  DM a chance to set up and prepare without being rushed
2. Bring Your Gear- Nothing ruins a night faster than forgetting your dice. Or character sheet, rulebook or mini. 
3. Know Your Rules- You do not need to know every little rule, but it is always a good idea to be familiar with the rules that your character uses often. If you are a summoner wizard, read over the summoning rules. Do a lot of grappling? Mark your rule book on that page. A combat can grind to a screeching halt if someone has to go "I'm not sure, let me look that up" every time they use an encounter power. This particular piece of advice is a pet peeve of mine. In the past, as a DM, I have forbidden a player from playing certain classes because they refused to know the rules. 
4. Plan With Your Group- This last point is ensure everyone is going to have fun with their character. It's important during character creation that everyone discusses what they are playing and make sure everyone has all of their bases are covered. This is when you make sure you have a healer, and that you aren't stepping on someone else's character concept. This can be a really fun exercise for the group to do together. 

     The second thing is dice jargon. I know that seems odd, but one of the first thing everyone experiences as a new play is the confusion over the dice. Yes, there can be a lot of them, and yes, they are shaped weird. And reading the rules for how to role them can be like reading algebra if you've new to RPGs.

     RPG dice are most often referred to as a polyhedral set. They come from manufacturers such as Crystal Caste and Chessex in sets of seven different dice per set. They are a four sided, six sided, eight sided, ten sided, twelve sided, twenty sided, and a special ten sided die called a percentile die. They all have special abbreviations to make writing them down much easier. They are as follows.

• d4                    Four Sided
• d6                    Six Sided
• d8                    Eight sided
• d10                  Ten Sided
• d12                  Twelve Sided
• d20                  Twenty Sided
• d100 or d%      The percentile die and the d10 together

     The percentile die is a special case, in that it is almost never rolled alone, only in conjunction with the d10.

     The next piece of the puzzle is rolling multiple dice. The way this usually represented is XdY. X represents the number of dice you need to roll and Y denotes which dice it is you need to roll. So, for example, 3d6 means roll three six-sided dice and add the results. It's that simple.

     And that's it. That's the basics of preparation. Friday's post will be an overview of character creation, specifically aimed at D&D.

I Always Forget the Basics

Back to School season is over at work! I have my life back, for the moment, and it is much less stressful. I have been taking down notes and brainstorming a bunch for the blog here, I just haven't had the energy to implement any of it. Seriously, rich people and their children can be nightmares when shopping for school supplies. I did have some really surprising customers, but for the most part they were monsters. But it's over now. I'm going to shake it off and move on.

While discussing my ideas with friends the other day (Erica Dawkins, over at The Daily Rawr: Veggiesaurus and her husband Dan. He's my boss at my real job), that maybe a review of the systems I play was in order. After mulling over for about ten seconds, I realized that her idea was a good one for two reasons. First, I have a lot of friends that are new to tabletop RPGs, and I would love to introduce them to some other fantastic ones outside of our staple D&D. The second was a fun little byproduct of the first, in that in breaking these down for others, I can analyze the elements of them I would like to use in the implementation of my own RPG.

So, in the coming weeks, I'm going to be doing an Intro to RPGs 101 series. I'll being going over basics of typical game play, etiquette, jargon and actual reviews of the systems themselves.They say that best way to master something is to teach others, and I agree. I love to bring new people into gaming, and I hope this turns into a great tool for that.

On to other topics, Varen D'Cannith, my hybrid wizard/artificer, has been waylaid by Dan springing a premade adventure on us. I scrambled to make a tank as quick as I could, and ended up with a very fun fighter. Because I had less than twenty four hours to make the character, I didn't have time for my usual indecisiveness. I just went with my gut, and out cam Sir Allestyr Cormaygne, hedge knight. He has little backstory, hits like a ton of bricks, and is a blast to play.

Also, I love that this is the first character I've had that the other players have nicknamed. They call him Al.

====== Created Using Wizards of the Coast D&D Character Builder ======

Sir Allestyr Cormaygne, level 1

Human, Fighter (Weaponmaster)

Fighter Option: Combat Superiority

Fighter Talents Option: Two-handed Weapon Talent

Human Power Selection Option: Bonus At-Will Power

Borderland Nobility (Diplomacy class skill)

Theme: Chevalier

FINAL ABILITY SCORES

STR 18, CON 14, DEX 15, INT 13, WIS 14, CHA 13

STARTING ABILITY SCORES

STR 16, CON 14, DEX 15, INT 13, WIS 14, CHA 13

AC: 17 Fort: 17 Ref: 13 Will: 13

HP: 29 Surges: 11 Surge Value: 7

TRAINED SKILLS

Athletics +11, Diplomacy +6, Endurance +7, Heal +7

UNTRAINED SKILLS

Acrobatics +2, Arcana +1, Bluff +1, Dungeoneering +2, History +1, Insight +2, Intimidate +1, Nature +2, Perception +2, Religion +1, Stealth +2, Streetwise +1, Thievery +2

POWERS

Basic Attack: Melee Basic Attack

Basic Attack: Ranged Basic Attack

Chevalier Attack: Valiant Charge

Fighter Attack: Combat Challenge

Fighter Attack 1: Weapon Master's Strike

Fighter Attack 1: Cleave

Fighter Attack 1: Footwork Lure

Fighter Attack 1: Hack and Hew

Fighter Attack 1: Lasting Threat

FEATS

Level 1: Steel Vanguard Student

Level 1: Agile Superiority

ITEMS

Greatsword x1

Scale Armor x1

Adventurer's Kit

Potion of Healing (heroic tier)

And on that note, I'm going to go work on the outline for the next couple of weeks. feel free to comment and leave suggestions for systems you want to see reviewed, or topics covered in the Basic Training. Peace!

Beam Katanas and Blasters

I am a science fiction geek above all else. I love space marines of every flavor, spaceships are awesome, and robots make the best bad guys (aliens, clones, and mutants too.) Don't get me wrong, fantasy is really cool too, but my first love has always been sci-fi. It all started with Ray Bradbury, a story called A Sound of Thunder, and a show called The The X-Files. I've seen every episode of that show, and it was palatable enough for regular viewers that I could watch it with my dad. Growing up, this was the highlight of my Friday nights. We'd sit down around eight or so, and watch whichever show Fox hadn't cancelled this week until nine, when Chris Carter's masterpiece would air. And for the next hour, I'd geek out with my father, and it was acceptable. I look back on those nights as both some of the happiest of my childhood and the beginnings of the kind of man I'd become. Uncle Matt (the man that raised me, and for all intents my dad growing up) didn't always understand my obsession with weird games and stories, but he did know that they made me happy. We'd talk about how unlikely the situations Agents Mulder and Scully found themselves in. We'd argue about the science of some of it, but in the end, we enjoyed. As far as interests go, this was one of the few things that we'd shared.

As far as time travel stories go, I feel there are only two worth mentioning. The first is the Back to the Future trilogy, because it's the fun romp the eighties sci-fi epitomized. The second is A Sound of Thunder. I read this story as part of an anthology of Ray Bradbury short stories. It very quietly began to change the way I felt about stories. Sometimes things don't work out in the end. What a novel concept. I had tragedies prior to this, but none had consequences of that scope. It shook my world view. Now, I didn't immediately go out and start writing tragedies, or even darker material at all. But over time, I came to the realization that the best stories were the ones that were unapologetic in their delivery. A Sound of Thunder is blatant sci-fi, but it tells the most real of stories. Action has consequence, and you can't be afraid to show these consequences. Sometimes the hero can't make things right.

You're probably asking what all this has to do with myself and gaming? Everything, really. I play D&D because I don't have a great alternative sci-fi rpg out there.The Dark Heresy trilogy is a fantastic piece of gaming, GURPS is universally known in the community, and everybody likes Shadowrun. But how many people do you know that actually play these systems? Or any of the many other really wonderful and flavorful sci-fi systems out there? I think this because these systems depend a bit too heavily on their settings to sell themselves. D&D, which is arguably the best platform out here right now, is so good because it's modular. It's whatever you want it to be. Want high adventure and espionage? Eberron. High fantasy? Forgotten Realms. Gritty survival? Dark Sun. The list goes on and on.

Which leads me to my point. Can a sci-fi rpg be made to be modular AND exciting? I think so. I'm currently working up an alpha rules set for what I hope to be my take on this. I'm going to keep posting on this topic, it's near and dear to my heart.

On to other things, I've made a character for an upcoming Eberron campaign I'm going to be playing in. I'm playing a member of House Cannith that works to repair lightning rails. We're starting at level one, and I decided to try the hybriding rules to make an artificer/wizard. Without further adieu, here is Varen D'Cannith.

====== Created Using Wizards of the Coast D&D Character Builder ======

Varen D'Cannith, level 1

Human, Artificer/Wizard

Hybrid Artificer Option: Hybrid Artificer Will

Hybrid Talent Option: Arcane Implement Mastery

Arcane Implement Mastery Option: Staff of Defense

Human Power Selection Option: Bonus At-Will Power

Cannith Tinker (+2 to Thievery)

Theme: Alchemist

FINAL ABILITY SCORES

STR 11, CON 15, DEX 13, INT 17, WIS 15, CHA 12

STARTING ABILITY SCORES

STR 11, CON 15, DEX 13, INT 15, WIS 15, CHA 12

AC: 14 Fort: 13 Ref: 14 Will: 15

HP: 26 Surges: 8 Surge Value: 6

TRAINED SKILLS

Arcana +8, Dungeoneering +7, History +8, Thievery +8

UNTRAINED SKILLS

Acrobatics +1, Athletics +0, Bluff +1, Diplomacy +1, Endurance +2, Heal +2, Insight +2, Intimidate +1, Nature +2, Perception +2, Religion +3, Stealth +1, Streetwise +1

POWERS

Artificer Feature: Healing Infusion: Curative Admixture

Artificer Feature: Healing Infusion: Resistive Formula

Wizard Utility: Ghost Sound

Wizard Utility: Light

Wizard Utility: Mage Hand

Wizard Utility: Prestidigitation

Staff of Defense Power: Staff of Defense

Wizard Attack 1: Arc Lightning

Artificer Attack 1: Magic Weapon

Wizard Attack 1: Stone Blood

Wizard Attack 1: Icy Terrain

Wizard Attack 1: Flaming Sphere

FEATS

Alchemist

Level 1: Staff Expertise

Level 1: Hybrid Talent

ITEMS

Alchemist's Acid

Staff Implement x1

Cloth Armor (Basic Clothing) x1

Adventurer's Kit

Thieves' Tools

Alchemy Case

Alchemist's Acid (level 1)

I'm hoping to have artwork of him up sometime this week.

Cop Out

Work has been extremely hectic these past two weeks. I have a topic for my next post, but haven't really been able to flesh it out due to crazy scheduling. I promise once back to school is over, I'll get back on the horse. I just don't have any energy right now. I'm hoping to get home at a decent hour tomorrow. If I do, I'll get something written, for sure. Thanks for your patience.

Sugar and Smoke

So I'm mildly in awe of my roommate Travis's ability to play a female character. Her name is Seldom, a human stone fist monk. She never speaks, and looks like a small Asian girl with mauy thai ropes wrapped about her chest, arms and shins. She is a little bad ass. Granted, she never talks, but I honestly never feel like he's out of character. I cannot comprehend how to do this. I have ideas for female characters all the time, but I have to relegate them to pc (player character, for my family that reads this) purgatory because I just can't get behind rping a girl. I like female characters (I mean, who doesn't?), I enjoy writing about them, but when it comes to actually acting it out, I'm useless. I have no problem with female npc's as a dm. I don't know if it's a problem or just a preference thing. Something to explore in the future, I guess.

So, upon reminiscing about this, I began to realize something about fantasy rpgs in general. Unlike fantasy fiction, in which female characters are the norm, in the gaming world, they seem to be left to the wayside. Occasionally npc, rarely actual characters unless the player is a woman. Which are also pretty rare. While I always campaign for the inclusion of more female gamers, it seems like a lost cause. I do enjoy a good damsel in distress but sometimes I think it's really awesome when a female takes charge, thwarts the bad guy, or, heaven forbid, tanks. I think it would give a campaign a lot more flavor if the women were more than occasional set pieces.Of course, I fall victim to these very same pitfalls. So I'm going to try and research some better ways of acting for dming, and give a female character a chance for once. Equality, right?

I think I would like to start with D&D for this dilemma (Deathwatch isn't really the venue for this problem). I'm going to knock out some ideas, and have it for an upcoming post.

Raging isn't just for Barbarians

I have aggression problems. As in, when confronted by things I don't like, I like to steamroll over other people regardless of their feelings. Society tells me this is an inappropriate way to handle these emotions, and that I'm supposed to back down and talk things out, or accept that I've done something wrong.

Bullshit.

Let me explain. We live in a society that expects us to repress our most basic emotions in a way that causes us to resent having them. I personally don't ever resent being angry (in fact, it's something of a normal state of being for me), but I do resent when I don't control it well. I'll give you, yelling isn't always the 'best' way of handling it, but being upset is a part of being alive. I get tired of being told to not be angry. Never going to happen, pal. Tell me to not lash out, fair enough. If you don't agree, I respect that.

Now on to the root of the problem for me. People always equate anger as a negative emotion, whereas I see it as healthy and even necessary for motivation and progress. Content people don't push themselves to grow. When I'm comfortable, I sure don't like doing anything. Being upset makes me realize there is something in my environment that I need to fix, and occasionally gives me the extra 'oomph' I need to do something about it. So, how do I reconcile my personal philosophy with society's expectations? I don't know, and I realize the has held me back several times in my life.

I will say that gaming, and the act of character building in particular, is one of my favorite ways to relieve stress. My problems aren't going anywhere, so the option of not being me for a few hours every couple weeks is a balm to my soul. No kidding. D&D, Deathwatch (that one is a personal favorite), Shadowrun have all helped me through some really rough patches. The characters I make in these games are all idealized versions of myself. The are allowed to do the things I'm not, react with the violence of action and purpose that I'm told has no place in the real world. I'm an escapist, I except that. But when reality can be as disappointing as we all know it can be, everyone has a way to get away. And besides, I don't want to be someone else, just a better version of me.

Sorry there wasn't much gaming in this post, but I needed an outlet for recent frustrations. I'm going to do my damnedest to post on a Mon-Wed-Fri schedule, and tomorrow I'm going to shoot for expanding into Deathwatch. Ave Imperator!

Axes in the Dark

Right, I have moved. That was tiring beyond measure. Need to work out more, so stairs aren't such an obstacle. Got to see my sister last week, and she brought the whole family with her. My new nephew is so small, I have no other adjective for him yet. It's very odd holding a baby when you have little contact with children. I never babysat or really had younger siblings (my younger sister is only two years my junior) so I have zero idea what to do when someone hands me a baby. It's scary. I'm a big guy, and Tucker (that's my nephew) was only the size of my forearm. A whole person fits in my arm! My mind was blown.

So, on to gaming stuff, because babies freak me out after a while. With the new apartment comes a new venue for our group. I'm excited to play again, and I'm still being wishy-washy about my bard, Baron Saiga. I've been annoyed with his performance (his most memorable moment so far has been falling off a dock and almost drowning) and really don't know what to do. I Like the character, but his class is, I don't know... underwhelming. I think I'm focusing too much on being the super leader/healer, and not enough on enjoying the role I've picked for him. He's the third son of a noble devoted to the Raven Queen. Actually, his entire family is, and to escape that, he joined the military as an aide de camp to a general of the Ikemmu army. He did well and was being groomed for a command of his own one day. So the bard thing I played up as more of a military drummer or dirge, and he just used magic to control the tempo of battle. Now I kind of want him to lose the magic, because it isn't working out the way I wanted it to, but Dan pointed out I wasn't rping him as well as I could be. I'm going to stop coaching the other players, and just start making decisions, and hope they can catch on to what's going on. He thinks forcing the officer will help me enjoy him a lot more, and I'm very willing to try. I don't like dreading playing a character.

In my efforts to make an alpha-striking half orc of some type, I realized that unlike earlier editions of D&D, you cannot sneak attack with just any weapon. There is a very specific list, which consists of the rogue weapon proficiency list (go figure) and a couple of weapons that can be expanded by feats. That's it. I was dissatisfied by this as I really, really, wanted to use a fullblade with this build. Do't get me wrong, I understand the design philosophy behind limiting the weapons to those classically favored by rogues. I was just upset that there was no way to expand it. I wanted my burly half orc Vandall to step out of the shadows and cleave an enemy in twain. So I'm adding this particular issue to my list of ideas to pitch to Wizards of the Coast come October. I'm thinking to balance it, I'm going to limit it to racially favored weapons i.e. hammers for dwarven rogues, longswords for eladrin and so forth. Should be interesting.

I Only Reflect at Night

Well, it's 1:30 am, and surprise surprise, I can't sleep. Well, we got approved for our apartment finally, so that's a relief. I have a week to pack up my astonishingly large number of belongings to be ready for the move on Sunday. I am excited, but the apprehension of actually getting everything done is playing havoc with my ability to sleep. Shocker, I know. It's okay, though. Sleep and I parted ways when I left Ocala to live here.

Session two of the Shattered Seas campaign was a success. I really drew on a lot of older things I had seen other DMs do over the years to keep it interesting. I did a successful split of the party, one half of them scaling a tower to steal something from a noble while the bard and the sorcerer kept the noble busy at a concert. It was a refreshing change of pace from my typical very serious role playing. My group, which consists of my current roommate Travis, his friend Steve, and our mutual friend Dan, are very new to D&D. This leads to a lot of creative energy you don't see in experienced players because they just aren't burnt out yet. It is absolutely invigorating as someone who's been playing for years. Their take on things constantly lights all of these games in new ways. So my next challenge for them is actually much more of a challenge for me. I'm going to give them a puzzle. I'm terrible at puzzles. I have no patience for them, and they can be terrifying to adjudicate. So I've made the decision to do the thing I fear to overcome it. I'm hoping I become a better writer because of it.

Next session is going to be Dan's group. It's a large one, six players in total. I'm the only healer, a bard. Now, I was originally attempting to make a character that was a bit on the lighter side. I failed miserably, despite my (maybe) best efforts. Because of this, I've been working with Dan to workout a way to fix my problems with 1. playing a bard when the rest of the group has seen a much funnier bard in Trav's, and 2. play a character that is much more in line with my play-style. We agreed to "kill" Baron Saiga van Rahzvahn (see what I meant by less serious?) and have brought back to life sans magic as a warlord. I'm excited both for the rp value here, and also for the chance to sink my teeth into a much more mechanically satisfying player character. I really enjoy the flavor of a martial captain, and it really fits the backstory well. We'll see how it goes. Going to try and get some sleep now, posting may be sporadic through the move. I apologize in advance.

Inauspicious Beginnings

This is going to be an attempt to 1. write more consistently, 2. use writing as a vehicle for dealing with a bunch of my frustrations. I do not believe that anything I say is important, I just need to vent. Hence, I have turned to the internet like so many before me. I'm primarily going to speak about being a low income geek, as it's the only thing I'm actually an expert on. Fun stuff.

I'm sitting in my room, (it's a disaster) packing for a move to a new apartment. The last few years of my life have for the most part, been fairly stable. I have moved a lot in the past, so this isn't anything new. Still though, I'm not good with apprehension. I like packing as a cleansing exercise, clearing away stuff I don't need anymore.

Have a D&D session this weekend, too. I've been able to finally use the campaign setting I've been working on for years! Dragons everywhere! I was very excited about this until I stumbled upon Chris Perkins' Iomandra campaign. For those of you not familiar with Wizards of the Coast, Chris Perkins is one of the gentlemen that writes and creates for D&D. He is a fantastic DM, and his work with the Penny Arcade guys is truly fun to listen to. Anyway, Iommandra, come to find out, is an island based, dragon-themed campaign setting. Man, Shattered Seas (my setting) feels like a cheap knock off. Damn. Well, back to packing for now.